<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Composed of the Elements by moonlights_glow</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29749245">Composed of the Elements</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights_glow/pseuds/moonlights_glow'>moonlights_glow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Dancing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:26:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29749245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights_glow/pseuds/moonlights_glow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Title Song: Sweet as Whole, Sara Bareilles</p>
<p>When a case takes the team to (Y/N)'s home town, her best friend Spencer helps her leave her baggage behind.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Composed of the Elements</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The ending of this is a bit rushed because college sucks, but it's finally done!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.” -Oscar Wilde</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You walked into the bullpen with a coffee in one hand and your phone in the other. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Morning, (Y/N),” your best friend, Spencer, called from his desk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Morning, Spence.” You sat down at your desk. Before you could get settled, JJ announced a case. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ve been called in to a small town in Indiana,” JJ said, clicking on the slide projector. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait. When you say small town…” you said, feeling your body tense.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re going to (L/N)’s hometown,” Hotch confirmed. After going over the details of the case, he said, “Wheels up in thirty.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Spencer reached for your arm, but you were up and moving to the bullpen before he could catch you. He watched as you grabbed your bag from your desk, ignoring Morgan’s attempts at conversation. Your usual peppy, outgoing self was gone, replaced with a stranger. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the team gathered on the jet, they discussed the case together. You sat at the back of the cabin, staring out at the clouds, tapping on the table in front of you. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey.” You looked up to see Gideon sitting in front of you. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You shook your head. “I never thought I’d be going back there. I thought I could leave and never look back.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, I know it isn’t easy, but we need your help. You know this town and the people in it. That can help us.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You sighed and stood up. “Fine.” Walking over to the team, you said, “One thing you need to know about these people: they don’t like outsiders. At all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean by outsiders?” Hotch asked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You scoffed. “Anyone who isn’t born and raised in the town. Even if you’ve lived there for years, if you weren’t born in Newton, you’re not to be trusted. You’ll see first-hand when we meet with the local PD.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What about the victims?” Derek asked you. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I knew both of them in high school,” you said, flicking through the file. “But I don’t know what anyone has been doing with their lives.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Spencer couldn’t help but notice the sadness in your eyes. Despite his aversion to touch, he reached out and rested his hand on top of yours. You were his safety net. He loved you, as more than just his best friend. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the team got to the police station, you stuck to the back of the group while JJ and Hotch made introductions. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Detective Miller,” Hotch said, holding his hand out. “I’m Agent Hotchner. You’ve already spoken to Agent Jareau. This is SSA Gideon, Dr. Reid, SSA Morgan, and SSA (L/N).”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait. Little nerdy (Y/N) (L/N)?” the detective said, finally noticing you. “Wow, who would have thought you’d come back to Newton?” You swallowed hard, keeping your eyes down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you have a place we can set up a case board?” Spencer asked, noticing your unease.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did you know the victims well?” JJ asked him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The detective nodded. “We all do. Kelly’s my son’s teacher. Julia and I dated in high school. Our kids are friends.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Does everyone in town know each other well?” JJ asked as she helped you pin the crime scene photos to the board. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course. We’re like a family. When your town only has 300 people, you have to look out for each other.” You couldn’t hold back your scoff. “You have something to say there, (Y/N)?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s Agent (L/N) to you,” Gideon interrupted. “JJ, Julia Coleman’s family is here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You look different,” Detective Miller said to you as you worked late to help nail down the profile. “You look good.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Detective Miller-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on, you can call me Tim.” He stepped closer to you. “You don’t have to be so professional.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Excuse me,” you said, though it was no more than a whisper. You slipped out of the room and stood outside the precinct, leaning against the wall. You pulled a small box out of your jacket pocket. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Since when do you smoke?” Spencer asked you, coming up next to you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You lit a cigarette and took a drag before saying, “Since high school.” Seeing Spencer’s concern, you said, “Relax, I haven’t for a while. It’s only when I get really stressed.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, each cigarette takes about seven minutes off your life.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If it’s seven minutes I don’t have to spend with Timothy Miller or anyone else from this damn town, then I don’t care.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What did he do to you?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You shook your head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on, (Y/N), it’s me. Talk to me. Please?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You looked at your best friend’s pleading eyes and sighed. You put out your cigarette and said, “You know I didn’t have a good high school experience. After my mom died, my dad moved us to his childhood home. I moved schools halfway through the first semester. I was the weird new kid who wore all black with braces and clunky glasses and was way too into Stephen King books. I was an easy target.” You cleared your throat. “Julia and Tim were my biggest tormentors. When they dated, it was worse.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Spencer asked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You chewed your lip. “Tim asked me to the prom when he and Julie were on an off period of their relationship. I got so excited, like an idiot. I mean, I knew he didn’t like me in that way. After all, why would he?” You laughed, but there was no joy behind it. Spencer felt his heart clench at how you saw yourself. He thought you were the most beautiful, amazing woman to ever exist.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But I thought at least I’d have a friend, you know? I rented a dress and did my hair, all that stuff. Tim said he was going to pick me up. He never came.” Your eyes burned with tears at the memory. “The worst part was, my dad didn’t know there was anything going on. After-after my mom died, he gave up. When he wasn’t working, he was drinking and smoking.” You shook your head. “Tim just brought all those feelings back.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Spencer reached out and wiped the tears off your cheek. “You didn’t deserve any of that. No one deserves that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em> Carrie </em> was my favorite book in high school. I wonder what that says about me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why don’t we head back to the hotel?” Spencer offered, holding his hand out to you. “Rest might help us with the case.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, the team discovered there was another murder. Misty Lincoln had been killed in the same way as the other two victims. Spencer was graphing the geographical profile while you sat at the table, staring at the crime scene photos.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You see something?” Hotch asked you. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not sure. Uh, could I- could I take like two hours? I think there might be something that’ll help us in my dad’s old things.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure. But you’re not going alone. Take Reid with you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You knew better than to argue with your boss. “Yes, sir.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you and Spencer got into the SUV, your fingers started tapping the steering wheel as you drove, letting muscle memory guide you. You pulled into the parking lot of a storage facility. Spencer followed behind you as you passed row after row of storage units. When you finally stopped, you flipped through your keychain until you found one you were looking for. You hadn’t spoken to Spencer since getting in the car back at the station, and he was starting to worry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After you opened the door to the unit, you looked at Spencer. “After my dad died, I moved all his stuff here. I got rid of some stuff, of course. What would I ever do with an old couch that had more cigarette burns than upholstery?” You ran your hand over a white garment bag. The golden lettering was faded, but Spencer could still make out the word <em> bridal </em> , and what he could infer was the word <em> boutique </em>from the few remaining letters. “Some things I just couldn’t get rid of.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, can I ask you something?” Spencer asked you, picking up a picture at the top of an open box. You were between who he could only assume were your parents, and you all looked happy. You looked just like your mother. The small you, who couldn’t be much older than 8, clung to the woman’s side. Your father had his arm around your mother’s waist. It all looked very domestic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure,” you said, digging through a box at the back of the unit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why have you been acting so different since we got here? I mean, you’ve been acting so meek and timid, which isn’t you. I once heard you threaten a cop that you would, and I quote, ‘shove your foot so far up his ass that he would taste the mud on your shoe.’ What’s going on?” He set the frame back on the top of the box.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess… I spent so long trying to distance myself from this place and when I came back, I was back to being a scared little 15-year-old.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But, you’re not, (Y/N). You’re strong and confident.” It was then Spencer heard you sniffle and noticed you were crying. “(Y/N)?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You wiped your face. “Sorry. It’s just… I worked so hard for the image of me that you all see and-and I’m just so afraid that being here is going to erase all that. I worked so hard at the Academy to form an identity that wasn’t <em> this </em>and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“(Y/N), (Y/N), hey,” he said, taking your hands in his. “Breathe. Our image of you is not going to change just because your old tormentors are here. I- uh, we, the team, we love you. You’re our family. I think Garcia would riot if Hotch ever tried to get rid of you.” You chuckled at that and it made him smile. “Now, how about we get out of here and work more on our profile?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you got back to the precinct, Hotch asked you, “Did you find what you were looking for?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah.” You pulled an old yearbook out of your bag. “All the victims are from the same graduating class, and they were all in the same extracurriculars. Look.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re ready to give the profile,” Gideon said after flipping through the book.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your team gathered the police department to deliver your preliminary profile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ve come to the conclusion that our unsub can only be a local,” Spencer said. “He-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There’s no way,” Officer Miller interrupted. “No one in this town would do that. Besides, why would I trust this walking stick insect over the people I’ve known my whole life? You’re wrong, Stick-Bug.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How dare you,” you said, stepping forward. The rest of your team stepped away. They knew what was coming. No one would say it, but they all knew how you and Spencer felt about each other. “How <em> dare </em> you talk to Spencer that way. Captain Bell invited us here to help you find out who’s murdering members of your community. You have <em> no right </em> to talk to my family that way.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your family? <em> These people </em> are your family?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A family is anyone who makes you feel loved, and by that definition, yes. These people are my family. And if you ever talk to any of them like that again, I will bring your life crashing down around you with one simple phone call.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, look who’s finally got a backbone,” Tim laughed. “Little (Y/N) thinks she sounds all big and threatening.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not a threat, Timothy, it’s a promise,” you said. “And I’m sure Captain Bell would take you off this case if I told him you have a conflict of interest. I’m sure he’d love to know you’d had an affair with one of the victims. You and Julia never could stay away from each other, could you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Spencer fought a smile at seeing you return to yourself, as well as seeing Timothy’s face pale. He chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to think of a way to thank you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The case was finally over. Like always, Spencer had been right. The unsub was a guy from your graduating class who felt the women from your class shunned and mistreated him. Thankfully, you were able to sympathize with him and get him to come in without any extra violence. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hotch was giving the team the night in the hotel before heading back to Quantico in the morning. You were flipping through the channels on the hotel’s TV, already in your pajamas by 8:30. You finally settled on some old reruns of Friends when there was a knock at your door. You groaned and extracted yourself from your blanket cocoon and trudged over to the door. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Spence? What are you doing here?” you asked after opening your door to reveal Spencer, still in his work clothes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come with me, I want to show you something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Spencer, I’m in my pajamas-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That doesn’t matter. Just, come with me. Please?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You tugged your old sweatshirt on and followed Spencer down the hallway, to the elevator.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where are we going?” you asked him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a surprise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A surprise?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You trust me, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course, I do, Spence. You know that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay well,” he covered your eyes with his hands and guided you forward. He dropped his hands and said, “surprise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You were standing on the patio of the hotel’s restaurant, the tables had been pushed to the side and lights were strung up all around. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Spence, what’s all this?” you asked as he gently pulled you to the center of the patio.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A way to say thank you,” he said. When he saw the confusion on your face, he said, “For sticking up for me at the precinct. I know it must have been hard to stand up to Detective Miller. And-and I remember you telling me that you don’t have many good memories here, and then I thought about your prom story, so…” He held his hand out to you as music started playing. “May I have this dance?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You smiled and took Spencer’s hand. He rested his free hand on your waist, and your free hand rested on his shoulder as the two of you gently swayed to the soft music coming from the patio’s speakers. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How’d you pull this off?” you asked him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His smile was a bit sheepish. “Morgan and Garcia helped me pull some strings.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course they did. Garcia <em> is </em>the all-powerful puppet master.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Spencer laughed as the two of you continued to dance. When Spencer heard you sniffle, he stopped and pulled away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, what’s wrong?” He brushed a tear off your cheek. “Did I do something wrong?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You shook your head and smiled at him. “No. It’s happy tears.” When you saw that Spencer still looked confused, you explained, “I never thought I’d have someone in my life who cares about me this much. I mean, look at all this. You did this just to make me happy.” You rested your forehead against Spencer’s and wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers playing with his hair. Spencer’s arms wound around your waist, pulling you closer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course I did. I love you. I-I mean, I care about you. Because you’re my best friend and-”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Spence,” you said, stopping his rambling. You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, lingering for just a moment. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Spencer’s brain, which usually worked at three times the speed of the average person, slowed to practically a halt. You had just kissed him. The girl he’s been longing for just kissed him. <em> She </em> kissed <em> him </em>. You were about to say something to him when his brain finally caught up and he kissed you back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the two of you pulled apart, you said, “Well, I guess my prom was worth the wait.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Spencer smiled at you and kissed your forehead before continuing to dance with you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -Anais Nin</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>